#dunkmybiscuits
Dunk My Biscuits

Dunk My
Biscuits

A box of dunk-tested biscuits, each with a survival rating. Survivors not guaranteed.

How long can your biscuit survive the dunk?

We dunk-test real biscuits in real tea at 82°C, then box them by how long they last.

Meet the contestants

Every biscuit has a personality. Most of them are about to get wet.

The Indestructible: a muscular oat biscuit All Style No Substance: a pink wafer in sunglasses Tough Nut: a biscuit in boxing gloves The Posh One: a shortbread in a top hat and monocle Bleeds When Dunked: a jam biscuit leaking jam

01 / 05

The Dunk Rating

Every biscuit earns one. Most earn it the hard way.

Glass Cannon

0-2s

Touches the tea and immediately gives up. A short, soggy, beautiful life.

Standard Issue

5-10s

A decent, honest dunk. Knows when to get out. Sometimes a second too late.

The Indestructible

30s+

Thirty seconds in and still going strong. We are no longer convinced it is food.

The Dunk Box

Everything,
one box

One box, every survival tier, plus a certificate to prove you take this entirely too seriously.

  • 6full packs, dunk-tested in real tea
  • 3survival tiers in every box
  • 1Certificate of Dunk Readiness

One box, the lot

£25

+ postage (biscuits can't drive)

Send me a box

Packed to survive the journey. The biscuits, less so.

Stop buying
socks

Nobody has ever cried tears of joy over socks. Give biscuits instead.

Send biscuits instead
A sad sock surrounded by British biscuits laughing and pointing at it

#dunkmybiscuits

Follow the dunk tests, watch biscuits meet their end, and get a box sent to your door.

[email protected]

Brand deals, biscuit emergencies, or grief counselling for a lost custard cream. Barry reads every one, and replies faster than a rich tea survives a dunk.

© 2026 Dunk My Biscuits. All crumbs reserved. Ships worldwide. Quality assured by The Testing Committee (a man called Barry). Back to top

Warning: do not rescue sunken biscuits with bare fingers. The tea is hot and you will look foolish.